IN THE NAME OF THE CONFESSION (Support Anti-Narchotics Campaign!!!!)

This is my life, my name is Fadly or use to called as Boy. I’m a man with closed heart facing all of the situation but keep trying to fix it.

Like others never care, seems that i’m lost, such the trash. I want someone cares of me, the situation changed my life, I dont want like this anymore, hurt my self, throw away my future, disappoint my beloved one, destroy my parent’s dreams, I have to change myself and I want everyone admit me and see me as a human being. But what I’ve got is only misery which I don’t even know when it will end.

Damn!… this drug makes me sick, I don’t want to suffer again. But in this situation, I really need it.

Hah!… You mad man, seizing the suffer, heroin, cocain, marijuana, all of them are provisional pleasure.

I want to throw up this drugs! I feel queasy…!!

The drugs not really conciliate me, where’s the peculiarity?? Every single grain I swallow, just increase my confusion. Sometimes I thought that it only an imaginary game-but?… huh! fuck it all!!… forget all the time, play with imagination, fly with marijuana… ha… ha !!

Every single doze of it, just like counting how great suffer I want. Through the way full with drugs used for the grief and pain, and we use all, we never care anything.

Sadness, yah- sad… and we only know that this is the only thing to cure it.

My beloved Amei, she always mumbling about problems which thrust upon her family. She have heard all of their hue and cry with a similar problem. She feel sick, bored. It feels that I want to scream in front of their face so they can hear and consider her but all of them were deaf, blind and dumb. Nobody want to hear her, never know where the happiness gone, just seem like no happy word for her. This pain, this foil cured and she pay it with the sickness she got. But them?… huh… they never care. My beloved Amei faded away.

With this out, we throw our sadness, stacks of suffer and suffer heaped on the spoon and a drop of bile then put it into the artery then it started again.

Yes, she is Amei, my beloved one who killed by my own hand. What kind of person am I? I’ve killed someone I love so much and love me so.

Forgive me Amei, I was wrong. Started today I promise I would never use that shit anymore. I don’t want to disappoint you and repeat my madness again. The things who always near to me when I was sad or happy. I kill them calmly. Good by my dear. I’m sorry.

Huh… what the fuck with the drugs!

Drugs bring us to the into destruction and never ending illness. All of them are bullshit, temporary pleasure. We can only cry, yell at our pain, and surrender to our situation.

Thus the sickness gone, our true war begin. I hate if I have to through this. Sweat in my back like the ice layer, this head just like crushed, too painful to sleep, too tired to stay up. This addicted get come and cover me. I really sick!!.. I can’t fight it. I can hear my heart beats. I feel confused. I want that fucking drugs again, and again, and again. I dont even know until when the drugs will gnawing me.

How much you saved or you stealed, it’s never been enough. You will need it again and do it again.

May be what the stranger’s said was right. All of this shit will poise my body. All of the dirt filled into my artery.

I don’t know who saved me, I really helped, but sometimes I thought that I want to die. My life is worthless, but maybe God has other aims. He still give me time to change my life, my future and compensate all my guilty.

Today I start my new side. I try to face my problems even I know it will hard. I use the drugs not for my only pleasure but a confession I want to give to them. We are not the useless garbage, but we just choose a false decision, which we think that it was the only happiness and pleasure. We know that we have change, and we neede a litle attention from you all. That we are a human being who want to live better and have right to get a real happiness. We need your help.